Guy Personal Blog #4
Hi Guys,
Currently on a "Long Break" (15 min) on my Pomodoro Timer app.. figured I'd take some time to write up another Blog. Thinking about how this is more of a Public Journal than a Blog... but i Like the word Blog...
Anyways I drank some caffeine today and I'm not exactly sure that I like it. My Modafinil script ran out so I'm microdosing coffee in the meantime. Something about Caffeine tends to zap my creative Juices a little bit... I go from Alien Brain to Insect Brain- which sounds similar but they're actually very different.
The topic of caffeine consumption actually inspired me to decide what I want to talk about today: ADHD Hell, as I consume it in the same way you would use a weaker move in a turn based RPG while your Attack Points regenerate.
I'd say task initiation and focus are the two things I've struggled with the most and for the longest throughout my life. I have no shortage of Good Ideas and I can learn skills very quickly, but applying those Skills & Ideas frequently proves to be an Expert Level Challenge. I highly value Hard Work & Discipline, but for some reason my brain creates the Dread Chemical when I think about starting a Task. I instantly look at the big picture and get overwhelmed.
Now, I'm an adult and this doesn't fully gatekeep me from getting shit Done. .. but I wanna be God Mode... if I banged out Everything I've ever wanted to Do (talking purely Realistic stuff like That podcast I wanna start and making more music) I would surely be significantly more actualized. That's not exactly a Profound revelation as I'm sure most people feel that way.. but still.
Thinking about this kind of stuff is a healthy Source of Self Doubt considering I've been wanting to fix these problems since I was about 11 or 12 years old and I'm 26 now.. so I'm like Damn I Really Haven't Locked in Yet Huh.. but lately I've been trying a lot harder to frame things in a more graceful light. Everyone has things they've wanted to change about themselves forever, and one day it'll stick. Every failed attempt is still an attempt that bares (bears? idk) Fruit. Doubt will always set you back more than Relentlessness.
Nothing changes overnight; and even if some of your Goals take years to accomplish - that isn't the case for all of them anyways. Take your W's and keep working on the bigger picture at the same time. We'll All Get There, With Faith.
Gonna get Back to Work now... putting a Plastic Bag over the head of my Feelings of Self doubt and strangling them with a Guitar String until I'm out of Breath.
Have a Great Day Guys,
Guy Person
P.S. - Hi :)
Currently on a "Long Break" (15 min) on my Pomodoro Timer app.. figured I'd take some time to write up another Blog. Thinking about how this is more of a Public Journal than a Blog... but i Like the word Blog...
Anyways I drank some caffeine today and I'm not exactly sure that I like it. My Modafinil script ran out so I'm microdosing coffee in the meantime. Something about Caffeine tends to zap my creative Juices a little bit... I go from Alien Brain to Insect Brain- which sounds similar but they're actually very different.
The topic of caffeine consumption actually inspired me to decide what I want to talk about today: ADHD Hell, as I consume it in the same way you would use a weaker move in a turn based RPG while your Attack Points regenerate.
I'd say task initiation and focus are the two things I've struggled with the most and for the longest throughout my life. I have no shortage of Good Ideas and I can learn skills very quickly, but applying those Skills & Ideas frequently proves to be an Expert Level Challenge. I highly value Hard Work & Discipline, but for some reason my brain creates the Dread Chemical when I think about starting a Task. I instantly look at the big picture and get overwhelmed.
Now, I'm an adult and this doesn't fully gatekeep me from getting shit Done. .. but I wanna be God Mode... if I banged out Everything I've ever wanted to Do (talking purely Realistic stuff like That podcast I wanna start and making more music) I would surely be significantly more actualized. That's not exactly a Profound revelation as I'm sure most people feel that way.. but still.
Thinking about this kind of stuff is a healthy Source of Self Doubt considering I've been wanting to fix these problems since I was about 11 or 12 years old and I'm 26 now.. so I'm like Damn I Really Haven't Locked in Yet Huh.. but lately I've been trying a lot harder to frame things in a more graceful light. Everyone has things they've wanted to change about themselves forever, and one day it'll stick. Every failed attempt is still an attempt that bares (bears? idk) Fruit. Doubt will always set you back more than Relentlessness.
Nothing changes overnight; and even if some of your Goals take years to accomplish - that isn't the case for all of them anyways. Take your W's and keep working on the bigger picture at the same time. We'll All Get There, With Faith.
Gonna get Back to Work now... putting a Plastic Bag over the head of my Feelings of Self doubt and strangling them with a Guitar String until I'm out of Breath.
Have a Great Day Guys,
Guy Person
P.S. - Hi :)